We put up our Christmas tree this weekend, and the day looked something like this:
7:00am: wake up, manage the menagerie, shower, breakfast, etc
10:00am: go to Target for normal errands (sweater drying rack, unmentionables, etc)
10:30am: pick up Dan
11:00am: arrive at Christmas tree lot, and pick out the world’s most beautiful and perfect tree – full, lush, dense, gorgeous
11:05am: realize tree is too big to fit in cone for netting (should have been our first clue…)
11:15am: tie tree to top of Sarah’s little car:
11:30am: laugh at how silly tree looks on top of little car, and how much rope it took to make it stay:
11:45am: arrive home safely with tree, and drag it into the living room
12:00pm: put tree in tree stand, add water, and stand back to admire. realize that we threw out the tree skirt last year, since it was covered in cat hair and couldn’t be washed, and that we need a new tree skirt. sweep up excess needles.
12:15pm: order lunch, and realize the tree needs more lights than we have, since it’s bigger around than we usually get
12:30m: go to WalMart, buy more lights, and decide you don’t like any of their tree skirts (all of which left glitter on my hands).
1:00pm: go back to Target, buy a new tree skirt, take Dan to football game
1:30pm: come home, put new tree skirt under tree, and start to string the lights.
1:35pm: tree falls over, narrowly missing Greg’s head
1:40pm: hands are covered in tree sap from holding it up; we decide to keep putting lights on it anyway
2:00pm: lights are on the tree, and it falls over again
2:05pm: take the tree out of the tree stand completely, adjust the legs, and try again
2:06pm: tree falls over
2:10pm: repeat from 2:00 twice more
3:00pm: return to Target (third trip today!) to buy a new tree stand with a wider base
3:30pm: Greg goes to change for theater performance that night, and Sarah frantically tries to put together the new tree stand so he can help put it up before he leaves
3:31pm: tree falls over
3:45pm: tree finally stands, but is leaning dangerously to the right
3:46pm: turn the tree, so it is leaning backwards into the corner, and looks like a very large woman leaning backwards into a corner and holding up her skirts:
4:00pm: give up. good enough.